Monday, March 12, 2007

Cold feet

About shoes I'm sure I have written. Zucchini likewise, and perhaps even zucchini in the freezer. However, one topic on which I am certain I have never written is "stretching shoes with zucchini in the freezer"; nevertheless, that search string brought some poor misguided soul to this site. I don't know how (or why) to stretch shoes with zucchini in the freezer, but I"m sure someone out there does. That is the wonder of the Internet: the committed zucchini-shoe-stretcher need never fear being alone in the world, for if there is one person out there devoted to stretching shoes with zucchini in the freezer, Google is certain to lead him or her here.

The latest crop of search queries leading to this site is bulging with pleas for help with mice in oven insulation, also a topic I've never discussed, although I've certainly dealt with mice elsewhere. Others are seeking a recipe for kohlrabi soup or solutions for "turnips, glut of," and my only suggestion is this: don't give them to my husband.

Many many people arrived here while searching for cheat sheets for Excelsior College exams, while others want a short-cut to literary analysis for "Griffy the Cooper" or "Under the Lion's Paw." I would like to go after these people with the "pink chipmunk rifle" that brought another searcher here. Far be it from me to wish on such searchers a case of "Sticky eyeball melted the sun," which brought another seeker here.

I was pleased to see that someone came here while searching for "Me, Little Geisha Girl," an annoying song that has been running through my head since my last dance recital nearly 40 years ago. Now if Google could just tell me how to remove annoying songs from my head, we'd be getting somewhere.

Not here, though. Some questions I simply cannot answer.

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