1. Ballast.
2. Doorstop.
3. Artillery.
4. Toy, part one: hollow it out and carve the shell into a clever little dollhouse. Glue tiny button eyes onto walnuts to make "people."
5. Toy, part two: Carefully hollow out two giant zucchinis and duct-tape together to form a jet pack that can be strapped onto a child's back. Pour diet coke into the hollowed-out zucchinis and drop in an entire package of Mentos. Stand back and watch little Jimmy soar!
6. Hair-styling aide: wrap wet hair around zucchini; secure with toothpicks; leave zucchini in overnight; brush out hair to make soft, flowing curls.
7. Sports paraphernalia: send giant zucchinis to underprivileged inner-city youths, who will split them in half, hollow them out, and use them in place of cestas in their impromptu games of jai-alai.
8. Amusement-park equipment: who says the bumpers on bumper cars need to be made of rubber? Zucchini is cheap, non-polluting, and readily available during the summer months.
9. Edible prosthetic limbs: stuck at a neverending lunchtime meeting? You'll be the envy of salivating co-workers when you lean down and take a nibble from near the knee.
10. Personal spiritual enhancement: grate zucchini, measure into freezer bags, and store in freezer. Pray fervently for a power outage, and then shout Hallelujah when you have to throw out all that zucchini.
1 comment:
Bumper crop again this year? Seeing zucchini in your nightmares? If you've got a smallish one, I'd take it off your hands.
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