Lately I've been experiencing a very third-grade-teacher sort of feeling. I keep hearing this peevish voice issuing from my mouth saying things like "I'll close the door at 8:00 a.m. and anyone who is not here at that time will be counted absent and will receive a 0 on the assignment." I don't like myself when I say things like this, and neither do my students, who are convinced that they cannot be here at 8:00 because they have to print their assignments in the computer lab across the hall, which doesn't open until 8:00. This inspires me to achieve levels of sarcasm lost on students still wiping sleepy-dust out of their eyes.
I hate treating college students like mischievous third-graders, but on the other hand, it's difficult to run an orderly and productive classroom when one-third of the students regularly wander in late. If I keep channeling my third-grade teacher, one of these days I'll show up in class with glittery cat's-eye glasses on a chain around my neck, a white linen handkerchief stuffed up my sleeve, and masses of white hair piled up in a bun on top of my head. There must be a better way!
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