A sharp spike in the GNCCI

Goldfinch gives a red-breasted nuthatch the cold shoulder.

I was talking to a relative on the phone yesterday and he nearly hyperventilated when he heard about our current cold spell. "Oh no!" he said, "What are you going to DO!??"

Well, what are the options? I suppose we could ditch our jobs to pursue careers making cutesy crafts from driftwood on some warm Caribbean beach, but that would be WAY too predictable. 

Or we could contribute to the Gross National Complaints about Cold Index (GNCCI), but that inevitably leads to tedious discussions about the computation of windchill and whether objective measures of temperature can be separated from subjective experience--or, is it really as cold as I think it is, and what does the word "really" mean in this context?

Or, speaking of GNCCI, we could crank up the thermostat and hunker down indoors making and eating homemade gnocchi, but an expanding waistline would result in more flesh to feel the cold.

Or I suppose we could just bundle up and endure the cold as gracefully as possible.

Nah. Never happen.