Thursday, January 31, 2013

My "Just Say No" policy

As we begin the arduous process of scheduling classes for next year, I'm determined to protect my time, priorities, and sanity with a strict Just Say No policy:

Just Say No to new freshman advisees. I have enough for now, thanks. Maybe later.

Just Say No to requests to participate in special programs unless the terms of participation are explicitly spelled out in advance.

Corollary 1: Just Say No to "the stipend will probably be the same as last year, but we don't know yet for sure."

Corollary 2: Just Say No to "the contracts won't be written until May or June, but we need a commitment right now."

Just Say No to adopting a course another colleague wants to dump so she can do something far more interesting than anything I'm doing. Do you see a sign on my door saying "Unwanted Course Dumping Ground"? No? Then go dump it somewhere else.

Just Say No to trying to teach literary analysis to students who don't know how to read. (Okay, this one's probably impossible to enforce. Let's call it "aspirational.")

Just Say No to teaching during my stupidest time of day just to accommodate colleagues whose very special scheduling needs dominate the good spots. Being the second-most-senior member of the department doesn't count for much, but if nothing else my seniority ought to confer upon me the privilege of teaching 9 a.m. rather than 3 p.m.

That's it for now. If I can stick with this strict policy, I may emerge on the other end with a bearable schedule....as long as my colleagues don't wise up and develop their own Just Say No policies. I picture our department sitting around the conference table beating each other over the head with NO NO NO until some weak, meek, backboneless person gives in for the good of the cause. Just this once, I hope that person doesn't have to be me.

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