Griping is inappropriate when the weather is this good, but if I were inclined to gripe this weekend, here is what I'd be griping about:
1. Ants in my telephone. I know that living in the woods requires a certain willingness to share one's living space with various wee beasties, but I need that phone more than the ants do. Don't ants use chemicals to communicate? Or do they tap-dance with antennae? Whatever: if they want to make a phone call, let 'em get their own darn phone.
2. Experimental fiction so fascinated by its own experimentation that it forgets the elements of good fiction. Case in point: Foe by J.M. Coetzee. I appreciate the attempt to explore the troubled relationship between the author and his creation, but if I wanted two-dimensional characters, I'd read a comic book.
3. Student papers that try to pass off as thesis statements sentences such as the following:
"The Open Boat," "The Road Not Taken," and The America Play all rely heavily on the use of the word "the" in their titles.
I need to get a rubber stamp that says "So what?" --except I"d wear it out by midterm.
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