Saturday, April 14, 2007

Obvious Alarm fails to function

Today's prize for stating the obvious goes to our local newspaper, which features a headline declaring "Abuse an inappropriate behavior for caregivers." This headline raises some important questions that the article fails to answer:

1. If abuse is inappropriate for caregivers, for whom is it appropriate?

2. Why use the wimpy word "inappropriate" when clearer terms would be more, um, appropriate? If the babysitter invites her boyfriend over and makes out with him on the sofa and then eats up all the food in the fridge, that's inappropriate; if she wraps the little kiddies in duct tape and beats 'em with an electrical cord, that's worse than inappropriate--it's illegal.

3. Doesn't anyone on the newspaper staff have a brain equipped with a properly funcitoning Obvious Alarm? Next we'll see headlines proclaiming embezzlement an inappropriate behavior for school treasurers and murder an inappropriate behavior for 12-year-olds.

Unfortunately, we'll probably never see the headline this newspaper needs: "Stating the obvious an inappropriate behavior for headline writers."

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