Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Desperately seeking clever retorts

I've been driving my sleek indigo beauty for a month now and I've grown accustomed to hearing statements like this from my so-called friends: "I didn't recognize you in such a nice car!" Or, as a colleague told me yesterday: "I saw you getting out of your beautiful new car and it just looked SOOOOOO wrong."

I still haven't figured out what to say to that. It reminds me of the odd things people used to say when I lost all my hair to chemotherapy, like "Baldness suits you--it makes you look intelligent!"

What am I supposed to say? "Sorry, I prefer looking stupid"?

When I was bald I still thought of myself as a person with hair, and when I drove a series of rustbuckets I still thought of myself as the driver of a sleek indigo beauty; any appearances to the contrary were simply temporary setbacks. (And in the rustbucket realm, "temporary" stretched across two decades.) I can't blame my friends for their ignorance of the internal me, but I hope they get accustomed to my new wheels quickly--or else I'll have to come up with some clever retort.

Like what?

3 comments:

Bardiac said...

It's a good thing they don't know about your secret superpower outfit in the back of your Tardis!

(This only would work on nerderific types.)

Anonymous said...

If, instead of a clever retort, you just want to be mean, "What a horrible thing to say? Why would you say something like that?"

Bev said...

I need that secret superpower outfit. Usually I just stand there with my mouth open and nothing coming out.