Direct-shuns

On the first day of the Scientific Imaging class I took two years ago, the professor wrote on the board in large print the letters "RTFD."

"This means 'Read the fine directions,'" he explained, "but some people substitute another word for fine."

Lately I find myself frequently telling students to read the friendly or ferocious or flabbergasting directions and then come back to me if they still have questions, but that doesn't mean I'm planning to sit by my computer all night eagerly awaiting that 2 a.m. e-mail from a student who can't understand the directions for an assignment due today even though he or she has had the assignment sheet for FIVE WEEKS and we have discussed it in class at least once a week. Here's a thought: how about reading the first-rate directions a little sooner next time?

A colleague told me yesterday that he never puts detailed assignments in writing but instead issues instructions orally in class. If students have questions, they have to ask him right there on the spot where everyone can hear. I suppose that's one way to deal with the problem, but then he never gets the opportunity to tell the students to read the frightful directions or read the formidable directions or read the fan-freaking-tastic directions.

From now on I'll just issue all my directions via interpretive dance. If nothing else, it will give me an opportunity to try out some new f-words: Read the flamenco directions. Read the flat-footed directions. Read the fandango directions....