When we lived in the middle of town, I used to distribute pencils on Halloween. I know that makes me sound like a total crank, but the kids loved 'em! I would hold out a mug full of brand-new pencils decorated with various sports or movie logos, and they would agonize over which to choose: Browns or Bengals, Ariel or Belle? I never heard one complaint.
No one comes to our door since we moved to the woods, and I don't blame them. It's hard to trick-or-treat on a dark country road where you have to walk a quarter mile between houses, and our driveway is treacherous enough in broad daylight--I'd hate to stumble through the potholes in the dark while wearing a flimsy plastic mask and a cape, especially with coyotes yipping in the distance.
So there will be no trick-or-treat at our house tonight, but I do plan to dress up today as the scariest monster I know:
When strangers, impressed by my glamour,
Request my profession, I stammer,
"I'm an English profess-
Or." They blanch and confess,
"I guess I'd better watch my grammar!"
That's right, folks, I'm armed with a semicolon and I know how to use it!
Ooh, scary.
Now it's your turn: if you're planning to frighten anyone today or to be frightened, put it into verse and share it with the rest of us.
1 comment:
In years past, I’ve donned cute costumes
And been frightened by ghouls and ghosts
This year I’ll be staying home
And checking job site posts
Can’t be buying bags of candy
Can’t spend cash on masks and wigs
There will be no decorations on my door
And no invites to fun shindigs
Got tricked by the economy
Don’t see a treat in sight
Don’t think anyone but those with small kids
Will be out tomorrow night
I will hear from someone scary though
With a voice that will cause chills
A relentless, heartless monster
Who wants cash for my past due bills
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