Today we observe Independence Day by enjoying some of the fundamental freedoms that make America what it is:
Freedom of assembly in front of the change machine at the car wash, where those seeking cleansing discuss the best way to feed a dollar bill into the slot so that the machine will recognize George and spit out some quarters.
Freedom to mock the headlines in the local press, including today's gem, "Ethical breach leveled at official," which, if I'm reading it correctly, suggests that a person or persons unknown has forcefully directed a hole, gap, or absence at an unnamed official. You know that's gotta hurt.
Freedom to bear armloads of sweet corn out to the kettle and grill salmon and stir risotto without fear that the Culinary Police will object to the promiscuous mixing of cuisines, and then freedom to bear armloads of food inside the house when the rain starts pouring down.
Freedom to speak out against going to see fireworks in the rain and in favor of staying home to play Monopoly while enjoying root-beer floats made with homemade vanilla-bean ice cream, even if it means landing on Boardwalk with a hotel. I tend to lose at Monopoly, but I'd rather be bankrupt on Boardwalk than dripping wet out in the rain.
And if things get really rough, there's always that Get Out of Jail Free card.