Early this week a student complained because new pandemic restrictions have shut down all campus Halloween parties and Where am I supposed to wear my costume?
"Wear it to class," I said, which is why this morning Mothman is sitting in the middle of my composition class. For those outside the southeastern Ohio/West Virginia area, Mothman is the local version of Bigfoot with collapsing bridges. Well, if Bigfoot suffered from collapsing bridges it would be a case for a podiatrist specializing in cryptozoology--a cryptopodiatrist?--but in Mothman's case, we're talking about the kind of bridge you drive over, unless Mothman is present, in which case the bridge collapses and you drive straight into the Ohio River.
But I digress. As mentioned, I have Mothman sitting in class alongside a student dressed in a red flannel shirt and cowboy hat and boots. And jeans, of course. I told my students they could wear costumes as long as they don't distract from learning, so yes, pants are being worn. He may have a six-shooter squirreled away somewhere but if so it would have to be fake as we are a strictly non-gun-totin' campus.
I brought goody bags full of candy for all my students today because apparently the pandemic has traumatized us all right back to second grade. I thought about dressing as the Semicolon Fairy and waving my magic wand to sprinkle semicolons over all my students' drafts, but the steep decline in semicolon usage in recent years has sent the Semicolon Fairy into a downward spiral. One of these days the semicolon will be a mythical beast just like Mothman, and at that point maybe she'll return to my class at Halloween.
Meanwhile, I've got drafts to read. I wonder whether Mothman knows how to use a semicolon?
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