Stop boring me. Please. Just stop.

Rule #1 for writing papers in my classes: Don't bore me. 

If the material is boring, use interesting words--starting in the title and introduction. "Poetry Essay" is not an interesting title. Neither is "Literature Essay." And don't even get me started on "Essay 1." Imagine that the future of the planet depends upon your ability to hook every random eyeball that happens to glance upon your title. Notice how the concept of hooking eyeballs makes you squirm? Kind of icky, isn't it? But it got your attention. Made you look!

But hooking isn't enough: you've got to set the hook with an interesting opening line. Today I've been shuffling through a pile of papers trying to find an opening line that makes me want to keep reading, and so far the pickings are pretty slim. "Since ancient times, authors have written poetry" is true but so obvious that I can't imagine a reader who would find it interesting. 

Well, okay, I can try: an alien planet where poetry does not exist accidentally intercepts a broadcast of Billy Collins reading "The Lanyard" (link) and cannot comprehend the function of such a peculiar arrangement of words. Overwhelmed by curiosity, the alien planet sends anthropologists to earth to research the history and purpose of poetry, but they possess only the most rudimentary understanding of the English language and human history. That alien anthropologist would be the ideal audience for a sentence like "Since ancient times, authors have written poetry."

But I am not that alien. So say something interesting and stop boring me.