First, let b = the number of weeks of winter bleakness we've endured. Subtract w (the wonderfulness of today's weather) and multiply by m (the number of late meetings I've attended in the past 7 days). Add p (the number of papers I need to grade by tomorrow) and stir gently until it reaches temperature t (my current blood pressure multiplied by the number of times I encountered ludacris used as an adjective in student papers today). Pour into heart-shaped molds and cool until pliable, then toss to the dog.
Which is what I'm doing with the rest of the day. Yes: I'm skipping out on office hours and taking my pile of papers home, where they will sit patiently in my bag while I take the dog out for a long walk in the beautiful gorgeous irresistible sunny weather. I know it's wrong, but my moral calculus tells me that sometimes you've gotta be bad to be good. So sayonara, sweetheart. I'm going to the dogs. Dog. Whatever.
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