Shallow thoughts while stuck in traffic

Traffic was backed up because of construction on my morning commute so I had plenty of time to think. I'm not claiming that I used it wisely. Frankly, it's not easy to think Serious Thoughts when drivers who want to turn left at an intersection where the left-turn lane is closed insist on turning into a grocery store parking lot and cutting across the lot to make another left on the cross-street, but they have to wait for a break in traffic to make that turn into the lot and while they're waiting they hold up traffic behind them for two or three traffic lights and there is no way for other drivers to get around these fools because there's a river on one side and a cement mixer on the other.

I have to wonder why more commuters don't just give up and drive straight into the river.

Thinking silly thoughts is a good antidote for road rage, and NPR helped out by airing a report on the history and popularity of Bananagrams. Yay bananagrams! Would that I were playing bananagrams right now instead of sitting through three traffic lights!

Or would that I had the new issue of the AWP Writer's Chronicle, a publication for writers and writing professors that, sadly, suffers from wildly inconsistent quality in writing and editing--but I digress. The current issue includes a terrific interview with poet Mark Doty, who says interesting things about what poetry is for and offers some cogent distinctions between literary genres, but I set that issue aside to bring it to campus and now I can't find it. Maybe they'd have a copy a Border's, but Border's is closing and it's depressing to go over and see all the empty shelves and I couldn't go there now if I wanted to because--in case you'd forgotten--I'm stuck in traffic.

(And while we're on the topic of inconsistent writing and editing: while searching for a previous post the other day I became painfully aware of how often I overlook clunky constructions and outright omissions of words and punctuation here, so where do I get off criticizing the Writer's Chronicle? But let's recall that this is an unedited amateur blog while the Writer's Chronicle is an edited publication written by and for professional writers and writing professors. They ought to know better.)

(And while we're being picky, why Writer's Chronicle instead of Writers'? The AWP's online discussion forum is called the Writers' Circle. So the Circle appeals to many writers while the Chronicle appeals to only one?)

A few blocks beyond the intersection is a gas station with a sign that carries the following tasty temptation: "We stock Filipino food item." I always want to ask: just one item? What happens after that one hungry customer craving that single Filipino food item comes in and buys out your stock? But apparently that hasn't happened yet because the message hangs on week after week.

School starts soon (when, exactly?) and so does the county fair. What happens when all that school and fair traffic tries to maneuver through this intersection? Time to find another route! But every morning I tell myself that I ought to take the long way around and every morning I forget to make the turn that takes me there, and then it's too late and I'm stuck in a long line of cars with the river on one side and a cement mixer on the other and up ahead, some fool holding up traffic so he can turn left when the left-turn lane is closed. In the time I spend sitting through three traffic lights, I could walk to campus.

Or swim.

Maybe it's time to start packing an inflatable raft.