When I cranked up my office computer this morning, it paused to install 7629 updates. Say that out loud: seven thousand six hundred twenty-nine. They must have been mini-updates because they loaded quickly, but I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that my new computer, which automatically checks for updates every day, should suddenly feel the need to install 7629 new ones. Imagine if I felt the need to ingest 7629 cupcakes first thing in the morning. Even if they were mini-cupcakes, I would end up with crumbs all over the keyboard.
So instead I drank some not-entirely-awful coffee and wondered why it is that even not-entirely-awful coffee tastes better in a ceramic cup than in paper. (And don't get me started on styrofoam--the taste and texture set my teeth on edge.) My computer sucks up updates the way I drink coffee in the morning, but even a confirmed caffeine addict would stop somewhere short of 7629 cups.
Maybe updates are sort of like cocaine for computers: once they get the taste, they just can't quit. If so, I'm not sure I'm doing my computer any good by indulging its addiction to updates. Should I shut off its supply or send it to rehab?
While we're thinking about it--here, have a cupcake.
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