David Sedaris, in "Monie Changes Everything": "Walls were papered in satin stripes, and curtains fell from floor to ceiling, bordered by what were later identified as swags."
All right, Mr. Sedaris, hand over the swags and listen up. Tell me, Mr. Sedaris, when the curtains were falling from the floor to the ceiling, where, exactly, was the law of gravity? Bound and gagged in a dark closet? And if the law of gravity was disabled in reference to the curtains, what kept the narrator, the folding card table, and the potty-chair rooted so firmly to the floor? Superglue?
Shame shame, Mr. Sedaris. I'm afraid I'll have to write you up. Selectively disabling the law of gravity is a serious violation that may lead to revocation of your Poetic License.
Have a nice day.
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