I know the Olympics are over but the sport of Mocking the Olympics goes on, most unmemorably in Nancy Franklin's article in the current New Yorker. I have been reading Nancy Franklin's television commentary in the New Yorker for as long as Nancy Franklin has been writing it, but in all that time the woman has never yet written one truly memorable sentence. Not one. And this article on the Olympics was just, um....I forget. Sort of like the Olympics.
I propose that we liven up the winter Olympics by merging some sports to eliminate the long, dull stretches that tend to occur between the exciting bits. Take an almost-perfect sport like curling, with its brooms, stones, ice, and polo shirts; borrow the guns from biathlon, the scoring system from figure skating (which should add some elegance to all that sweeping), and, from a summer sport, the horses from the dressage event. Equestrian Biathlon Figure-Curling: I'd watch that. Especially if they used Nancy Franklin for the stone.
2 comments:
As a person who avidly watches the Winter Olympics and staunchly avoids the Summer Olympics, I feel I must weigh in on this.
1) The biggest disappointment for me this year: the American and Canadian hockey teams. I mean, come on guys, is that it?
2) Figure skating, my second favorite Winter Olympics sport, was good but not particularly great, as I feel that the combined mass of the judges' brains could have been fit inside an avacado.
3) What was up with the snowboarding? I mean, if you're going to snowboard at the Olympics, don't showboat until AFTER you've won.
4) Bode Miller should shut up. Forever. But then, I thought that even before he went and screwed up the Olympics.
I just like the word: mock. Mock, mock, mock! Mockity mock-mock. Mock.
Mockey, mockful, mocksome, mockless.
mockmockmockmockmock.
I didn't watch a minute of the WO. They interrupted a perfectly good NHL season, and I cannot forgive them.
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