My bags are packed. My car is packed. My canoeing gear is packed. I have finished grading the two exams I gave this week and I have prepared next Wednesday's classes. I am all set to head on up the highway for four days of fun at our secret fall-break getaway cabin on a lake in the woods with my husband and son and daughter and son-in-law and grandbaby, BUT I have to hang around campus all afternoon to attend a meeting.
Yes, scheduling meetings at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon ought to be illegal, but this is a really important committee that has a real impact on my colleagues' lives (cough-cough tenure cough) so we need to meet--for at least two hours a week--and Friday afternoon is the only available time. So I will dutifully attend today's meeting because that's just the kind of person I am, but that doesn't stop me from inventing creative excuses that could allow me to leave early:
I was waylaid by aliens,
stomped by a rhino,
torched by an arsonist,
slugged by a wino.
I suffer from whooping cough,
shingles, and scabies.
I'm having hysterics 'cause
my hamster had babies.
The dog ate my laptop.
A squirrel's in my pants.
My nervous extremities
do nothing but dance.
I'm a sniveling bundle
of guts, gloom, and blood.
--Wait, the meeting's been cancelled?
I'm hitting the road!
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