Bullet-points of unhappiness

• Twice now a student has spent the first five or ten minute of class carefully applying makeup, from foundation and blush on up to the complete glamor-girl eye treatment. Doesn't she realize that the proper time to apply mascara is while driving at rush hour with a cell phone in one hand and a latte in the other?

• People keep telling me things--interesting, instructive, even entertaining things about which I would love to blab or blog--but for various reasons I have to keep my mouth shut. Confidentiality and all that. Watch while I bite a hole in my tongue!

• Although tiny snowmen are amusing, tiny blue ice-melting pellets are not, and neither are patches of slush and ice all over campus. Thank heaven the Powers That Be have planned special informative meetings on the importance of not falling down. Next: a meeting to inform us of the dangers of sticking beans in our ears, followed by a collective chanting of the SafetyMama Mantra: "You'll shoot your eye out!"