Daily detritus

The following vital information appears on miscellaneous pieces of paper scattered all over my desk:

• "The new password is a combination of your 10-digit account number, the capitalized first letter of the state you live in, and the last four digits of your Social Security number." Yes, another honking big number to memorize!
  
• "We have reviewed our records and learned that the [renowned academic press] received some permissions fees that should be shared with you....We are required by IRS code to obtain a tax identification number in order to make and report this payment to you." Lacking is any mention of who wants to reprint my article and how much money they're paying.
• "In 2007 the ribbons were put on the maces at the last minute. The ribbon on the large mace did not stay on and caused problems at 12:56." Apparently, the job of the faculty marshal is not all fun and games, what with all those intransigent ribbons.
• "I hope this looks better. Thank you for your time and have a great summer!" This was the message attached to a revised paper a student turned in approximately one hour after I had submitted final grades.
• "On a lightly floured surface, roll out the cobbler dough 1/4 inch thick. Tear the dough into 3-inch pieces and place on top of the peach filling." Now there's some news I can sink my teeth into!