Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Where's Paul Bunyan when you need him?

If Paul Bunyan lived at my house, he'd make short work of the big dead tree beside the garage, transforming it into stacked firewood before breakfast, and then he would pluck the remains of the old footbridge cables off the big tree where they've been embedded for years and twirl them around and around in the air until they made a mini-tornado, which would touch down and pick up all the leftover building materials and old tires behind the sheds.

Then we'd set him to work on the shed-moving problem. We've been contemplating the shed-moving problem for quite some time, and it looks like it's going to take Bunyanesque effort to empty out the old garden shed, move it down a steep hill with lots of trees in the way, and set it up next to the garden. Paul Bunyan would just hitch up Babe and the thing would be moved in two shakes of a Blue Ox's tail, but in the absence of Bunyan and Babe, that shed is not going anywhere.

Of course, if Paul Bunyan lived at my house, we'd have to knock down some walls to make a room big enough to fit him and raise the roof so his he could stand up straight--and where would we put Babe? An ox that big would exhaust the resources of our meadow before next Tuesday. I would have to stay home all day and cook flapjacks, stack after stack of 'em, just to keep the big man moving, and before you know it I'd be out of a job, and then who would pay the mortgage? If Paul Bunyan lived at my house, he would eat us out of house and home--a high price to pay for a little shed-moving!

Do you think I should call The Incredible Hulk?

No comments: