Multi-tasking to the max

So I'm sitting in my office wishing I could go work out at the rec center but I can't because advising season has just started so I'm under siege by students seeking answers to questions about whether they can use a 100-level transfer class to meet a 300-level writing proficiency requirement (no), why they have to take science classes when they're destined to be Famous Writers (because I said so), and when I'll be willing to teach a sophomore literature survey class as an independent study (when pigs fly), when suddenly it strikes me: why can't I do both--go to the rec center and advise students simultaneously?

My students have no problem multitasking--text-messaging during exams, talking on cell phones while doing whatever else they're doing behind the stall door in the rest room--so why can't I do my advising while taking care of some other important tasks?

For instance, I can tell a student "no" while walking to nowhere in the gym or explain the benefits of a well-rounded education while getting a haircut. And that student who wanted to meet with me on Saturday morning could confer with me while I'm cleaning the bathroom. Granted, I might have difficulty making eye contact with a student while scrubbing the toilet, which would surely be no more distracting than trying to engage a student in class discussion when she is squinting at the little screen on the I-phone.

Think of all the time I'd save if my I could listen to students' sob-stories while chopping onions for stew--I'd get twice the mileage out of the same set of tears. And that 20-minute drive to town could be utilized more efficiently if I had a van full of seniors who want to graduate in May but somehow neglected to fulfill the General Education Literature requirement and suddenly need to do it next semester, but sadly, they can't fit any of our Lit classes into their schedules and they certainly can't change any of their other courses because they're really important, so please would I change the time of one of my classes? I can fit six passengers in my van, so if I took one load of students per trip, two trips each day, I could cover all the bases while covering the miles and be done with it all in a week.

Think of all the time I'd save! I've got to give multi-tasking a try. My next advisee is due in 30 minutes. I hope he enjoys shoe-shopping.