U who?

Dear U-ser,
That's right, I'm talking to you: the student so addicted to text-speak that she peppers her papers with "u," even papers that have no reference to "u" or "you," such as literary analysis essays. You may have noticed that your "u" habit is not earning you any kudos in the the classroom, but have you ever wondered why? What's wrong with "u" anyway?

You'll notice that I'm liberally using the word "you" in this open letter. I can do this for several reasons:

1. I have made it abundantly clear to whom the "you" refers, so I'm not employing "you" in that lazy way that means "people in general."

2. On the Formality of Writing continuum, a blog post falls somewhere between the abbreviated informality of text-speak and the more formal writing expected in academic essays.

3. This is my blog, and I set the standards. I don't go to the grocery store in my pajamas and I don't strip a perfectly good pronoun of two-thirds of its letters in writing intended for public consumption. When you are in control of the rhetorical situation, you can decide what's appropriate and what isn't.

You'll notice that in your classes, you are not in control of the rhetorical situation; instead, you are expected to adapt to standards imposed by others. You could argue that this system is oppressive and squelches individual expression, but unless you make your argument in language your oppressors recognize as valid, you will not be heard. It's a sad truth but you might as well get used to it.

Many professors will tell you that it is never appropriate to use "you" in academic writing, but my policy is: never say never. Every writer should approach each rhetorical situation with full access to all the capabilities of the English language and should then make appropriate choices based on the audience and purpose of the writing task. I can easily envision times when it would be not just acceptable but essential to use "you" in academic writing, but those situations are fairly rare and are unlikely to arise in an essay analyzing a work of literature.

In your essay, you use "u" to mean something like "people in general," the sort of undefined usage that reinforces your essay's overall sense of vagueness. This usage can actually work against you when it makes inappropriate assumptions about your audience. Look at these sentences:

When you read poetry, it is hard to understand what you're reading.
When you braid your hair, you should decorate the braid with pretty ribbons.
When you murder someone, you should hide the body very carefully.

The first sentence assumes that your reader has a hard time understanding poetry, which may be true--but if not, you have just alienated that reader. The second and third make similarly alarming assumptions about readers; since I'm not planning to put ribbons in my hair or murder anyone anytime soon, these sentences tell me that you're not talking to me. There may be times when you want to strictly limit your readership--when writing a how-to manual on braiding or murder, for instance--but again, those situations are unlikely to arise in an essay analyzing literature.

In a literary analysis essay, you focus on the literature itself ("it") or sometimes on the author ("he" or "she"). "You" and "I" don't really enter into it unless you're doing some fairly sophisticated reader-response analysis, which you are not. So for the sake of this assignment, assume that the word "you" is off limits.

But then if you must use "you"--if you simply must feed your addiction--then for heaven's sake spell it correctly, okay? Save the "u" for informal settings in which spelling doesn't matter--and then on those special occasions when you want to sound educated and credible and careful, give the word its full complement of letters. Adding those letters may be painful, but trust me: "u" will get you nowhere.