After my latest foray into fighting debit-card fraud, I had to go out for a therapeutic haircut--and instead of just getting the usual cheap trim, I actually asked the stylist to shampoo my hair. Because I was just that angry.
Faithful readers will recall (read it here) that two weeks ago I learned that some moron had swiped my debit card number and charged hundreds of dollars in lottery tickets in a town I've never visited. As long as ten days ago I thought the whole situation had been cleared up, but what a fool I was. Since then I have had several tense exchanges with people at my bank, both in person and on the phone, and I have learned a number of interesting lessons:
1. If the phone system in the Customer Service department regularly disconnects callers who get put on hold, it's time for some truth in advertising--call it Customer Disservice.
2. If you tell the clerk that your old eyes can't handle tiny print and politely ask her to explain what you're being asked to sign, she will sigh deeply and treat you like an imbecile.
3. The reason my new debit card that was supposed to arrive by mail last week has not yet arrived is that (and I still can't quite believe this) the person responsible for ordering the new one just...didn't. No reason. It just didn't happen. But if they order a new one today, I can have it in hand by the end of next week! Or they can put a rush on it and have it delivered by Federal Express tomorrow! Provided that I'm willing to stay home all day awaiting the delivery, and provided FedEx doesn't pull one of its previous delivery stunts (like putting the package in a plastic bag and tying it to the bridge at the end of my driveway because they can't be bothered to drive up the hill)!
4. I never thought I would be the kind of person who would name-drop the bank's CEO and promise to mention the teller by name in a letter of complaint, but push me far enough and you never know what might happen.
In the end the bank agreed to get my new debit card issued by tomorrow and allow me to pick it up in person at the bank. By the time we'd reached that point this morning, though, I was in no fit state to concentrate on any of today's campus tasks, so I hied me on out to my regular cheapo haircuttery and got my usual trim PLUS a soothing shampoo. I'm gonna wash that bank right outta my hair--as soon as I get my new debit card.
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