Each faculty member will be encased in a full-length portable plexiglass bubble, climate-controlled and equipped with built-in keyboard and monitor. Deluxe models will include a dimmer switch to turn the bubble opaque for privacy, or to block out the buzzwords of academic blatherers.
Why should students have to consult several different applications to find course materials and information? For one-stop learning, Google, Moodle, Zoom, and email will be consolidated into one massive app where students will find everything they need. MooGooZooMail: coming soon to a campus near you.
Enrollments will be reduced to allow appropriate social distancing in all classes, and campus spaces lying dormant will be reconfigured as instructional settings as needed. Transform the football field to a chemistry lab and give the cheerleading squad something new to cheer about!
Wondering how to conduct office hours in an office the size of a closet? WindowSeat to the rescue! This cozy canvas chair easily attaches to the outside of your office window, allowing students to confer with you while enjoying the fresh outdoor air! Deluxe versions include an umbrella and a handy can of Pest-B-Gone.
Fearful that
paper handouts may spread the virus? Bake at 500 degrees until reduced to ashes or run them straight through a shredder. Seriously, who's handing out
paper? Put it all online!
(But first download MooGooZooMail and sign up for your free 300-hour training course--starting yesterday.)
2 comments:
I like #1: we all get haut-ladies' bubble chairs! (from Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan universe). Hmm: do you suppose the novel coronavirus is really a Cetagandan creation?
Ooh yeah, and I just thought of another idea: to reduce hallway congestion at peak teaching hours, half of the classes taught at the most popular hours will be shifted 12 hours on the schedule, so that 11 a.m. classes will be taught at 11 p.m. and 1 p.m. classes at 1 a.m. Those of us who teach at 8 a.m. will continue as we are.
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