What I need today is a helicopter, not to elevate me above the nasty potholes along my commute because the potholes have been filled, but they haven't added edge lines to the highway yet so driving to work in the pitch dark is an act of faith--I'm never sure whether I'm in my lane or getting ready to drive into the river. A helicopter would be just the thing.
A helicopter and a few more hours of sleep--that's all I need to be happy. Woke up with a splitting headache around 3 a.m. and had trouble getting back to sleep, so here I sit trying very hard not to fall asleep in my office before my 9 a.m. class. Sleep would help, sleep and a helicopter.
Sleep and a helicopter and a tutor, not for me but for some students who are struggling to understand the readings in Literary Theory and asked me whether any tutoring would be available on campus. I doubt that we have anyone in the tutoring center who has ever taken this class since it hasn't been offered for a few years, so I'm working on putting together a workshop on strategies for reading difficult texts, except every time I think about it, my eyelids start drooping. Sleep would help. And a helicopter. And a tutor.
And some more time, some extra hours in the day to meet the needs of students who are uncertain how to approach writing the draft due next week. They asked if I could set up some extra peer-review time outside of class and I am happy to do so, but next week I have a bunch of evening meetings so it's not easy to find a time that suits everyone. The calendar is full of potholes and obstacles, and the road ahead is unclear, and I need someone competent to wipe away all these problems and deal with it.
A personal assistant! That would be just the ticket. But don't bother applying unless you can fly a helicopter, tutor Literary Theory, and manufacture more time in the day while I take a nap.
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