Keep calm and carry markers

While my subconscious mind creates unlikely nightmare scenarios--showing up to class in a ragged nightgown, forgetting to write a syllabus, forgetting about a class entirely--my conscious mind writes little reminders to make sure the first day of class runs smoothly. Take markers, I tell myself, mindful of all the times I've arrived in a classroom far from the supply closet only to find no visible means of writing on the whiteboard. 

Today I'm obsessing over what to wear to class tomorrow, provided that I can get out of my driveway in the morning, which is another story entirely. (When snow falls on top of ice, there's only so much a plow can do.) I've already crossed "ragged nightgown" off my list of first-day clothing options, and despite nightmares to the contrary, I'm not going to show up to class naked. 

But I have to wear something appropriate to the outdoor weather, something that will serve me well if my car slides off the road somewhere and I have to walk through snow and ice, but also something appropriate for the indoor weather, which varies so much from one side of my building to the other that dressing for success is pretty much hopeless. Something professional but not brand-new; something amenable to layering, that will look nice over long-johns and a turtleneck sweater. I look at my closet and my heart sinks. Suddenly the ragged nightgown is starting to look like a possibility.

I am not worried about syllabi or first-day activities; if anything, I'm overprepared. I do worry, however, about learning students' names, a greater challenge every semester. Here's a real-life nightmare scenario: I encounter an unusual name on the roster and I don't know how to pronounce it, so I ask the student, who turns out to be a mumbler. Am I really supposed to call him "Brhhhmhhm"?

Do my students worry about how to pronounce my name? What do their first-day nightmares look like? Do I play the role of fearsome beast out to destroy their lives? Or are they too busy enjoying their last day of winter break to worry about what horrors the semester may bring?

I don't have time to think about that. Instead, I'll go look at my closet (again) and maybe write myself a few notes along the way. Wear boots, I tell myself. Print rosters. Check classroom computers. Find green gel pen.

Here we are on the runway, about to take of for another exciting journey. What could possibly go wrong? Wear clothes. Take syllabi. Don't fall on your face. And if you do, keep calm. (And carry markers.)