Don't sleet on my parade

Today I violated the first rule of Christmas-card preparation: don't lick all those envelopes yourself, and if you do have to lick them, don't do it on an empty stomach. Blech. What can get that glue taste out of my mouth?

Grading is done, grades are in, and so far I've had only two complaints (one accompanied by tears) and one very nice e-mail message from a student thanking me for helping him become a better writer. Neat. I saw a colleague in the line at the post office today and she was heading back to campus to finish grading after her long sojourn in that very long line, but I've mailed my last package and I'm ready to concentrate on the holidays.

I was not, however, ready to stand in the rain, wind, and sleet to watch a Christmas parade this morning, but I drove down the parade route just before it started (trying to get home before traffic came to a dead stop) and I saw plenty of parade-goers bundled up to the eyeballs and fighting to keep their umbrellas from blowing away--including Santa and Mrs. Claus, whose colorful umbrellas clashed badly with their festive attire.

I was following a jumbo pickup truck that was apparently associated with the parade. In the back of the truck stood a woman trying desperately to keep hold of a pop-up shelter that partly covered the truck bed--it looked like a good gust of wind could blow both the shelter and the woman right into my windshield. I would bet that standing in the back of a moving pickup truck is illegal even in West Virginia, but none of the many uniformed police officers who lined the parade route took any notice of the scofflaws. 

It looked like every police officer in Vienna, West Virginia, was standing along the parade route, and at the end of the line of parade floats stood a dozen or more fire trucks with lights and sirens blaring. Burglars and arsonists could have been wreaking havoc unhindered all over town, but maybe they decided to watch the parade instead.

I didn't. I don't get my holiday jollies from standing in the sleet and fighting to keep hold of an umbrella while homemade parade floats battered by wind and rain lumber past, so I went home and started writing cards and licking envelopes. Yum, glue! Why can't they make it taste like chocolate?