Ah, sweet mysteries of finals week!

Why would a student submit a final version of an essay without first deleting the comments I inserted in his draft? Unless he's just resubmitting the draft without making any changes. Or maybe he never even opened the file to look at my comments. 

Is there any correlation between how well a student prepared for a final exam and the likelihood that she'll need to use the rest room during the exam period? What's so exciting about the rest rooms all of a sudden anyhow?

Why does that one guy keep staring at the ceiling? The answers aren't written up there--unless someone has obscured a secret message in the pattern of the ceiling tiles.

Does the student who borrowed my book really expect me to overlook the non-return of that book when it comes time to turn in grades? That'll be an Incomplete until my book comes home, sweetheart!

When a student leaves the final exam, closes the door carefully, and then utters an ecstatic "Yahoo!" out in the hallway, what are the chances that he aced the exam? Does the volume of the yell correlate with the student's performance?

And how much extra credit should I offer to whoever manages to answer all these questions first?