Here is a sentence I was surprised to hear actually coming out of my mouth this morning: "The answers you need, gentlemen, are up here on the board, not in your lap."
That got their attention. So did a well-placed expletive, so much more effective when wielded by one who rarely utters anything more potent than "Rats!" So did the Voice of Doom with which I explained what will happen if they copy and paste information from the Internet into their analysis essays.
Yes: it was Destiny Day, the moment when I try to convince my freshman students that their grades, their prospects, perhaps their very lives depend upon how competently they perform on the next assignment. Time to get serious! Shape up or ship out! (Perhaps literally, if the river keeps rising.)
Of course I offer carrots to temper the sticks. "Master these skills now," I tell them, "and you will earn rewards for the rest of your life," but then they want to know what kinds of rewards and suddenly I'm spinning tales about the Comma Fairy and one of my students, looking rather dubious, says, "You mean every time I use a comma right the Comma Fairy will leave a dollar under my pillow?"
The little literalists. No wonder they never believe a word I say.
No comments:
Post a Comment