Universal Excuse Generator

Dear

1. Mom and Dad
2. Professor
3. Love of my Life
4. Blog Readers

Please excuse my

1. failure to phone home
2. failure to write my term paper
3. failure to remember your birthday
4. failure to recall your existence

I was so busy

1. serving soup to homeless people
2. attending my grandmother's funeral
3. writing a term paper for Dr. Demanding
   
4. banging my head against the wall until it hurt
   

that I totally neglected my responsibilities. However, I am prepared to make up for my neglect if you will only

1. send money
2. give me an extra credit assignment
3. bake me some chocolate chip cookies
4. excuse me for having a life

So let's just put this behind us and move on!

Sincerely,

1. Your loving child
2. Your diligent student
3. Your only true love
4. You lookin' at me?