Up with the yeast

I was trying to explain why our alarm clock typically rings before 5:00 on Saturday mornings and I found myself saying, "My husband gets up with the cows to get ready for the Farmers' Market." This is not, however, strictly true. For one thing, we don't have cows. Our neighbors have cows and our creek sometimes smells vaguely cow-intensive, but cows are not our thing. Clearly, I need a new metaphor to describe exactly what the resident farmer is doing at 5 a.m. on a Saturday--and sometimes earlier.

This morning, for instance, he was up at 3 a.m. to murder yeast organisms. Millions of squeaky little yeast voices could be heard begging for their lives: "No! Not the oven! Anything but the oven!" But a man with the strength of character to get up at 3 a.m. on a Saturday to bake a dozen loaves of bread is unlikely to be swayed by the heartfelt pleas of a host of microscopic organisms.

Later in the season it might be corn, squash, or okra that gets him up so early in the morning, but right now while the garden is still snoozing it's just bread. Next time someone asks about our bizarre schedule I'll say, "You have to get up with the cows to murder the yeast." They'll smile brightly and move away briskly, nodding all the while.