Friday, May 05, 2006

The secret faculty spa

In the secret faculty spa there’s a sauna where the steam smells like eucalyptus, the towels are thick and fluffy, and no one laughs at your surgical scars.

Aromatherapy, ear-candling, and massage are available in the secret faculty spa, and cucumber facials to soothe those puffy under-eye rings. The lap pool is a popular feature, but the less buoyant might prefer free weights or yoga. Volleyball? Darts? Dressage? The secret faculty spa is equipped to satisfy any sporting need--or even provide an impromptu tango lesson led by Antonio Banderas's better-looking younger brother.

After the workout and a dip in the whirlpool, the faculty gather at the juice bar for peach/mango smoothies to strengthen them for the return to the world of chalkdust and excuses.

At the secret faculty spa there are no excuses, no meetings, no assessment reports, no students--but the only way to keep undesirable elements out is to keep the location secret. In fact, the secret faculty spa is so secret that no one knows where it is. Not even me.

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