I see in the papers that a local woman recently reported to the police that a man entered her home, used her toothbrush and toothpaste, and stole a bottle of mouthwash. This comes on the heels of an incident about four months ago when a local couple came home from vacation to find that in their absence someone had entered their house and turned all their dining-room furniture upside-down.
This could be the start of an extremely slow-paced crime spree or perhaps an outbreak of Serial Dadaism. I don't know about you, but I intend to nail my furniture to the floor and lock up all my personal hygiene products lest I come home one day to find an unidentified person flossing his teeth on an inverted sofa with nothing to say for himself except "What is the frequency, Kenneth?"
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