I arrived on campus this morning to find this poor guy facing the wall, as if he'd been sent to the time-out box to think about his transgressions. What did Mr. Statue do to deserve such treatment? All he ever does is stand in his big glass box near the back entrance to my building, but now he's been facing a blank wall for hours and hours and hours. Cruel and unusual punishment!
It's a maintenance issue, of course. Loose tiles near the back entrance need replacement and Mr. Statue was standing in the way of progress. Still, the maintenance dudes didn't have to place him facing the wall. That wall doesn't require guarding--but then again, neither does the place where he usually stands guard. Against what? That door is almost always locked, and the area isn't generally subject to hordes of marauders--and even if it were, Mr. Statue is hardly a threat. All he does is stand there looking constipated.
Maybe that's why he's in the time-out box: You want something to frown about? I'll give you something to frown about! I want to see some gratitude for everything we've done for you! You'll stand there until I see a big happy smile on your face--or else!
If that's the case, he'll be standing there a very long time.
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