Which way is Up? No, seriously, I need to know!

At a difficult moment a student asked me how I'm doing and I calmly replied, "Well, I'm falling to pieces but I'm trying to do it with dignity and grace."

I'm not sure what provoked that response--possibly the newly altered traffic pattern in my building, where I've struggled mightily to train myself to use the correct staircase and doorway for up or down or entry or exit but now, after two weeks of classes, suddenly they've switched the directions on the staircases so that down is up and up is down. I'll have to retrain my mind and body all over again. Small thing, but the small things keep piling up and bumping into big things.

Like the virus. We have a case. A student in one of my classes tested positive so that student and everyone who sat nearby has to quarantine, which means they have to join the class discussion via Zoom, which we can manage except when they're too sick to click, and then I'm supposed to make the class recordings available to the absent students.

So I thought I'd listen to the class recordings and all I can say is: Houston, we have a problem. In some classes the Zoom recordings are clear, although they're not great at picking up comments from students beyond the front row. In other classes the recordings are all but inaudible--and the written transcripts aren't any better. Transcripts simply aren't available for some of my classes, and the ones that are available are absolutely excruciating to read; not only do they transcribe every repetition and false start and "um" and "like," but they sometimes produce gibberish, transforming "major essay" into "made your essay" and somehow producing out of thin air the phrase "and grandson a spreadsheet." (Don't ask me. No idea.)

Today I get to test out a lapel mike, which ought to solve the Zoom recording problem while also equipping me with one more piece of technology to screw up. Provided that I can find my way to class first. My next task: trying to figure out which way is Up. 

There is no way for someone on my floor to exit by this door.