Baffled by unbaffled beasts

Can a squirrel-proof birdfeeder deter a clever raccoon? I look closely at the online description and find the words "dismantles easily for filling and cleaning," and I know it's hopeless. The raccoon family that has developed a talent for removing and dismantling my largest birdfeeder--knocking it off the pole and unscrewing the top to dump out the birdseed--is not going to be dissuaded by a squirrel-proof feeder that "dismantles easily." If I can dismantle it, so can the raccoons.

We stopped filling the smaller feeder under the sweet-gum tree about a month ago after waking to see a whole family of raccoons using as a buffet, but the big feeding station seemed impervious to raccoons, sitting high on a tall pole protected by a baffle. But somehow all summer we've seen feeders go from full to empty overnight, and the perforated metal base of the feeding tray keeps ending up on the ground. Squirrels, I thought, jumping over from the tree or the birdbath.

But we kept filling the feeders until it became apparent that something bigger than a squirrel was somehow baffling the baffle to climb up on the tray and totally take apart the biggest feeder. Twice we've found it on the ground, empty and with the screw-top lid taken off and set aside. A squirrel couldn't do that, but a raccoon could, or a whole family of raccoons.

And so today I'm looking online for raccoon-proof feeders and finding nothing that will do the job. There's a whole world of suggestions: take feeders inside at night; buy birdseed coated with hot-pepper oil (deters mammals but not birds); give raccoons their own separate feeding station. The one solution that will work best has not been mentioned--get a dog.

I would admire the raccoons' skills if I didn't have to clean up the mess caused by their marauding. And then there is the whole issue of birdseed, still not considered an essential commodity and therefore in short supply locally. But at least thinking about outwitting raccoons gives me something to focus on besides my fall-semester classes, which will be upon us in just a few weeks. How long will it take the coronavirus to dismantle my foolproof syllabi? I don't want to think about it.