I asked for customer service, not a life coach

So I'm talking to customer service at Frontier Communications again, trying to impress upon them the importance of having a functional landline in an area with no cell-phone coverage, and the customer service rep comes up with a novel solution to my problem: "Why don't you just move someplace that has cell-phone coverage?"

Well, that would certainly make life easier for Frontier, because they wouldn't have to repeatedly send technicians out to fix the phone lines--unless, of course, someone else moved into the house and expected that because there are phone lines connected to the house, there must be phone service. Which there is. Occasionally.

And it would make my life easier in one way, because I would, presumably, be able to rely on my cell phone for all my communication needs and I would therefore never again have to deal with customer service at Frontier. However, this solution would make life more difficult for me in many other ways because it would require selling my house, packing up everything I own, and moving. Not exactly a walk in the park.

I'm trying to imagine other service industries making similar suggestions:

• Sure, ma'am, we could have someone come out and exterminate your pests, but wouldn't you be better off moving to a place where no mice live?
• Yes of course we could deliver your package to your house, but it would be easier for all of us if you would just move a little closer to the post office, preferably to a house with a less steep driveway.
• Are you sure you want those tires rotated? We're busy. Why don't you just start riding your bike everywhere?
• Cleaning your teeth is such a pain. Have you thought about pureeing everything in a blender so you won't have to chew?

Ridiculous. No reputable service-oriented business would survive if it operated this way, and yet Frontier thinks that, on the whole, it would be better for me to uproot my entire household than for them to provide the phone service for which I am paying them. If that's customer service, I'm Eleanor Roosevelt, and I think I'll call and tell them so.

As soon as they fix my phone.