Another thing they never warned me about in grad school

Of the following nightmares, only one actually happened in waking life. Can you tell which one?

1. Snakes under the bed.

2. Baseball team raising a racket in the closet and refusing to leave no matter how much I scream.

3. Seventeen years' worth of assessment data falling down a deep well while I frantically lunge over the lip of the well but fail to snag the reams of papers fluttering into the abyss.

4. Giving a presentation on my research in a hotel meeting room separated by a thin divider from a ballroom in which some sort of auction is taking place, led by an auctioneer with a voice that could crush granite at 40 paces.

Yes: I have presented a talk on my research to an audience of my peers while being shouted down by an auctioneer. He had a microphone and sound system. I did not. Nevertheless, my message got through, stretching the Teacher Voice to its fullest potential.

For my next trick, I'll deliver a talk while swinging from a trapeze in a circus tent crowded with toddlers. But I draw the line at wearing a tutu. Full academic regalia for me, else how will I maintain my dignity?