Quick--I need a word! I don't know what to call the zippers on my new sweater, inserted on both shoulders where a five-star general would wear his epaulettes. Zipaulettes? Epaulippers?
I don't know why I have zippers on my shoulders. I like the sweater: it fits well, keeps me warm, and looks good, but some designer somewhere decided that what this perfectly functional and attractive sweater needed was a pair of shiny gold zippers on the shoulders, in case I ever need to expose some shoulder flesh in the dead of winter. Meanwhile, the zippers just sit there looking decorative and useless and defying description.
A wonderful invention, the zipper, although there is some disagreement about who should get credit for creating the zippy little device. A quick and superficial internet search suggests that Whitcomb Judson invented the zipper and Gideon Sundback perfected it and made it marketable, while some nameless worker bee at B.F. Goodrich came up with the name "zipper," which stuck.
Now I'm stuck for a word to describe the function of a zipper that serves no useful function except to look pretty. Whatever challenges I may face today, I meet them zippingly accessorized. (Zipperized? Accessorzipped?).