Best syllabus ever!!!!!!!!!

If I redesigned my Survey of U.S. Literature class based entirely on complaints from previous classes, here's what it would look like:

Survey of Whatever U Like
Meets whenever U find it convenient. 

Required texts: Whatever U Like! Tweets, raps, viral memes--whatever U want to read/view/listen to!

Class participation: Register attendance by clicking the "like" button on Moodle--Whenever U Like! Discussion of students' feelings (no thoughts allowed!) will take place via Twitter using emoji, copy-and-paste, or Whatever U Like!

Evaluation: U are adults and therefore fully capable of evaluating Ur own performance in the class based on this simple grading scale:

• Scanned all the texts and expressed feelings eloquently: A+
• Scanned most of the texts and expressed feelings adequately: A
• Scanned some of the texts and expressed feelings occasionally: A
• Texts? What texts? Wait, was I in that class?: A-

Class capacity: Infinite--therefore capable of being a big money-maker for the college, since the class will not require classroom space, photocopying, or an instructor.

Looks like I've just written myself out of a job. Does this mean I get to retire early?