Because we all need a little a little distraction during that too-brief hiatus between turning in the final grades and reading our course evaluations:
Do you have a burning need to eat toast displaying your own image? How about some practice doing acupuncture on a plastic pig? Dave Barry can tell you where to get them (here).
In "The Regift of the Magi," the Three Wise Men becomes the Three Suspicious Loiterers (here).
Robbing Frosty's grave in "Climate-Change Christmas Carols" (here).
Was that the sound of failure or the sound of learning? An interview with Adam Savage of Mythbusters (here).
Gift suggestions: every English professor--or any kind of professor--on your gift list needs some of these "Citation Needed" stickers from xkcd (here). Except there aren't enough of these in the world to meet the needs of our students.