Where can I get some Apollo Repellant?

I seem to be in possession of a Doberman--temporarily. He followed me home but I do not intend to keep him.

When last we met, Apollo was being chased by an elderly neighbor who couldn't keep his pants up (read it here). Since that inauspicious encounter, I've heard Apollo barking behind the neighbors' door but I've never seen him running loose outside.

Until this morning, when Hopeful and I took advantage of a brief respite between thunderstorms to walk a mile up the road and see whether the prairie warblers are still hanging around. (Answer: yes, but keeping a low profile in the wild weather.) I heard barking as we walked past Apollo's house but this time the barks kept coming closer and then there he was, charging across the lawn.

I ignored him and continued plodding to the end of the road. Apollo and Hopeful followed. I tapped the stop sign at the end and turned around, hoping Apollo's owners would come out and collect their dog as we passed their house again. They were nowhere to be seen, but stormclouds were rolling in and I wanted to beat the rain so I continued down the hill.

Hopeful followed me and Apollo followed Hopeful, although he has his limits. Look--a deer running across the road into the woods! Both dogs go racing after the deer and Hopeful plunges after, but Apollo comes skidding to a stop and just stares at the thick undergrowth as if to say, "Weeds? That's below my pay scale."

For a big, intimidating beast, Apollo can be a little ridiculous. Those pointy ears pinned straight up give him a constant expression of bafflement, and when he trots, his rear legs swing outward stiffly as if they're too-tall stilts he can't quite manage. And when we get to the end of my driveway and the neighbor's crippled mutt blocks the way, massive Apollo stands still as if terrified of the teeny three-legged bitch.

Apollo followed me all the way home but I don't have any idea how to make him go away. I don't need or want a Doberman, and I'll bet his loving owners would like to have him back--but how can I make him retrace that mile up the hill? "Go!" I say, but he just tilts that massive head and gives me that baffled expression that seems to constantly say, "What what what?" 

I have a feeling someone will have to chase after him with a leash and transport him bodily up the hill, but he's too darn big for me to handle--and, as our prior encounter suggests, he's also too darn big for his elderly owners to handle. What I need is a Doberman wrangler. More minions! They'd better bring a tranquilizer gun or a great big net.