Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Busted

I generally don't make a habit of noticing my visitors' undergarments (or lack thereof); after all, out of sight is out of mind, and I'd have to be out of my mind to pay attention to what my visitors choose to keep out of sight. However, when a woman old enough to know better comes sashaying into my office with her assets swinging in the breeze, it's difficult not to notice--and wish I hadn't.

Some people just shouldn't go braless, and I would include in that category most well-endowed women over the age of 60. The last time the Braless Wonder came into my office, many people noticed her lack of appropriate undergarments, so this time they were on the lookout. "Didja see?" they asked. Yes, I saw; I had no choice but to see. I tried to maintain eye contact and avoid any knowledge of anything below the neck, but then she sat down and let it all hang out right at my eye level. It's difficult to keep an intelligent conversation going in the presence of such pendulous, prominent, unprotected bosoms.

After she left, some of us were talking about taking up a collection to buy her some bras, but there's no tactful way to broach the delicate topic of cup size with a woman far past the bra-burning age. When I am old I shall wear purple--but I'll be sure to accompany it with appropriate undergarments.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I take issue with your using the word "assets" describing this particular "(un)natural" wonder.

;-)

-AW

Anonymous said...

I say save your money and gloat over her misfortune instead.

Anonymous said...

Having witnessed this shocking spectacle, and lived to tell (just barely) I must say that our dear Bev is underplaying the issue of these missing undergarments. Never have there been two glands more in need of support. It was a rather poor choice and for a woman of her age, our subject in question must not have a mirror in her home. What else could explain it?