On needing a new challenge

Thirtysomething years ago when I was contemplating switching careers from journalism to teaching, my wise and wonderful husband told me something like this: "It won't be much of a change since you're always teaching anyway--you'll just be teaching a different type of student."

He was right: Even while working as a small-town journalist covering all manner of mundane news, from school board meetings to Eagle Scout ceremonies to wheat futures (and this is true--I once won an award for my coverage of innovations in farming), I was always looking for ways to educate readers about the issues that mattered to the community. For instance, when a company wanted to open a new local plant to process petroleum-contaminated soils, I didn't just report on what the two sides said but I read deeply about the process and consulted experts. I had to educate myself before educating my readers, and while I didn't think of them as students, many readers demonstrated a dedication to learning that made my job worthwhile.

Now I'm wondering whether it's time to once again seek out a different type of student. Let me explain:

For some time I've been indulging in what turns out to be a ridiculous fantasy about my final couple of semesters as a college professor: teaching my favorite classes, imparting well-earned wisdom to a horde of eager English majors, going out in a blaze of glory, the whole shebang. 

But no. My favorite classes keep getting cancelled due to low enrollment (or, in the case of the Colson Whitehead class I'd planned to teach next semester, no enrollment) while our supply of English majors steadily declines. The way things look right now, next semester I'll teach one class, American Lit Survey, in which only ten students are currently enrolled. That's right: my entire teaching load will consist of ten students taking a class I've taught so many times I could do it with with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back. Where's the challenge in that? I mean, I love the class, but I hope I'll have something a little more rewarding in my final semester next fall. 

Unfortunately, demographic trends suggest otherwise. It's possible that my final semester teaching will be much like this one, in which I'm teaching no literature classes at all.

So I'll admit that I have not been a lot of fun to be with as I'm trying to adjust to my continued irrelevance. Sulking is what I've been doing. Trying to find someone to blame, as if the bad academic weather is aimed directly at me and no one else. 

But then yesterday I had an epiphany: Maybe it's time once again to find a different type of student.

I don't know what that means right now but figuring it out might provide the kind of challenge I need. I'm not interested in seeking another teaching job elsewhere since I know other colleges are struggling the same way we are, and there are good reasons that I need to retire at the end of next year. But if teaching still makes me happy but I can't seem to attract students where I am, maybe it's time to find a different kind of teaching--and a different type of student. 

What could this mean? Starting a Substack, teaching Learning in Retirement classes, serving as a writing consultant or mentor for struggling writers? Writing more pedagogy essays or pulling together all my previous pedagogy essays into a book proposal? Volunteering in local schools? Writing PR pieces for local nonprofit organizations? Or maybe something I haven't even thought of yet--I'm accepting suggestions.

Mostly I just need something positive to work toward so I don't focus so intently on the current situation. Decades ago one of my college English profs told me, "You seem like someone who always needs a challenge to keep you going." He was right, but what do I do when all the challenges dissipate? 

Find another challenge--and another way to keep teaching--and another type of student.