Monday, November 25, 2024

Still here, despite everything

Fifteen years ago tomorrow I spent a full eight hours at the cancer center waiting for and then receiving my final chemotherapy treatment. Every year since then I've paused at the beginning of Thanksgiving week to remind myself that the number one thing I'm thankful for is that I'm still here. 

Which is what I wanted to yell the other day when I overheard some colleagues out in the hallway discussing who will move into my office after I retire.  I'm still here! Haven't left yet! Please don't salivate over my goodies before I'm gone!

And today I spent 45 minutes on the phone having a consultation with a retirement specialist associated with my pension plan. Mostly what I learned is how much I still need to learn, but in my defense, I spent years buried under so much medical debt that I assumed that I'd never be able to retire, and I ignored everything related to retirement. But now all the big horrible debts are gone and by this time next year I should have my mortgage paid off, so retirement is looking more and more possible. 

Necessary, too. I realized over the weekend that I messed up on a student's grade because I simply did not see a note she'd attached to an assignment. I've grown accustomed to the fact that my eyes are failing me, but when they start failing my students, it's getting to be time to quit.

But not today. (You hear that, office-coveters? I'm still here!)  Today I'll teach my classes and attend a meeting and wait patiently for the email system to be restored and celebrate the fact that, despite everything, I'm still here! And that's something to be thankful for.


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