Friday, September 09, 2016

But nothing rhymes with "faculty governance"!

Bardiac's marvelous comment about writing meeting minutes in verse sparked yet another fabulous idea: anyone who wants to petition a faculty committee must submit the request in verse.

It doesn't have to be good verse, but imagine how much more lively a committee meeting could be if petitioners had to state requests in the form of haiku:

My parking space is
occupied. Please make
violators move.

Or limericks:

There once was a dean who demanded
my budget be cut but expanded
his own. It's unjust!
Please tell him he must
stop being so darned underhanded.

Or singing the blues:

I've got the Inconsistent Language in the Faculty Constitution Blues.
Oh I've got the Inconsistent Language in the Faculty Constitution Blues.
If someone won't resolve this
Don't know what I'm gonna do.

Oh this line in section seven, it conflicts with one in section thirty-four.
I said this line in section seven conflicts with one in section thirty-four.
And when you get to subpoint B.3.ii
It just don't make sense anymore.  

I don't know about you, but I'd enjoy meetings full of verse--and if petitioners have to work a little harder to state their requests carefully and succinctly, meetings ought to be over much more quickly.

I realize that this plan discriminates against the rhythmically challenged and those incapable of finding a rhyme for governance, but that leaves the poets room to dominate the conversation for a change, no longer content to remain what Shelley called "the unacknowledged legislators of the world." What harm could it do to finally acknowledge the hidden poets dwelling amongst us?

Feel free to provide some sample petitions--in verse, of course!

1 comment:

Bardiac said...

I LIKE your enjambment!