Tuesday, June 19, 2012

What's a guy good for?

When my husband is out of town, I run the dishwasher before it's entirely full and I don't put shredded carrot in the salad. I may go several days without eating meat, and if I'm in the mood, I might just put some frozen lasagna in the oven.

When he's out of town I buy orange juice but not bananas; when I'm out of town, he buys bananas but not orange juice. See how well we complement one another?

When he's gone I leave the radio on all morning just to hear some noise and I update my Netflix queue so I can watch British comedies, and when I'm out of town he watches whole seasons of 24, one episode after another.

When he's out of town the dog gets fed later in the day and the weed-eater sits silently in the garage. I may remember to pick the lettuce and blueberries, but weeding the kohlrabi can wait until he gets back.

The mouse in the mousetrap, on the other hand, can't wait, especially in this heat. I realize that a strong, independent woman shouldn't need a man to empty a mousetrap, but I don't intend to touch that trap as long as my big strong son is still in the neighborhood. I can take care of a lot of things in my husband's absence, but dead rodents are outside my bailiwick. Besides, I wouldn't want my wonderful husband to think he's not needed!

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