Another holiday tradition bites the dust

Some advice for those benighted souls unfamiliar with traditional holiday customs:

• A Christmas tree is not a weapon. While it's true that the process of erecting and decorating a tree may lead to some familial stress, it is never appropriate to assault your father with a Christmas tree--even if you're a 37-year-old still living at home. (Read it here.)
  
• Likewise, a sweet potato pie is not a weapon, especially when it's fresh out of the oven. There is some debate about the purpose of sweet potato pie (some folks actually eat it!), but it is never appropriate to slam a hot sweet potato pie into your sweetheart's face, even if you are a 46-year-old man disappointed with your girlfriend's culinary skills. (Read it here.)
  
• A Christmas decoration is not an invitation to vandalism, even if it's hideous. Every day I drive past a gigantic inflatable Santa with the globe-shaped transparent belly full of gifts and reindeer and I wonder when Santa started ingesting the goodies, but while the temptation to puncture or purloin the mutant beast is sometimes overwhelming, so far I've managed to restrain myself--unlike the 51-year-old woman recently arrested for stealing a 4-foot-tall Santa and other decorations from neighbors' yards. (Read it here.)

The common element in these three recent news reports (aside from the woeful misunderstanding of holiday customs) is the age of the miscreants. For centuries young people have been offering their elders ample opportunities to tut-tut that "kids these days just have no respect for tradition," but that common complaint is irrelevant when the miscreants are middle-aged. There's another holiday tradition down the tubes...